“Displaced” during a pandemic. Where Next? Santa Monica? Connecticut? NYC? Hawaii? Barbados? Help me figure this out?

Saturday – November 28, 2020

If you have been following our story over the past several months – you know that I have been on the road with my children for quite some time. We actually left on a cross-country road trip / work trip on August 3rd and have not been home yet – in part because of the fires in Oregon (we were originally only planning being gone 2 months, but couldn’t return with the fires because of my boys’ health), in part because of the pandemic (it’s a wee bit scary out there when your kids need to be active and engaged and outside a lot and you live in a city that is at the center of the news… with “riots” and protests and occupation by government troops and all that) and in-large-part – the main reason we did not return home at the end of October – because our home is partly demolished (just the kitchen at the moment – because of a leak in the roof and subsequent drama) and it is not safe for me to be there with the kids.

But miracles do happen!
We were granted an amazing gift on October 1st!…

At the end of September, since we were not home yet and since it was not safe to go home, I decided I would like to stay on the East Coast a bit longer – especially with my two older sons here now (semi-permanently installed in the Boston area.) Since A.J. (18 years old) was just getting set up in college in Boston (during a pandemic, in a new city – with all that entails) I thought it would be a good idea also to stick around back East for him for a bit longer in case he needed me for anything.

In the previous five years when my oldest son (Colescott) was “away at college” (he graduated from Boston’s Berklee College of Music in May and A.J. just started there in September) it was easy (and inexpensive and not life threatening) to pick up and fly to Boston at a moment’s notice if he had a problem or an emergency he needed help with. During those years I also was able to schedule work trips to the Boston area two or three times a year – and sneak in extra visiting time with him that way (flights on Southwest are cheap and Boston is an easy city to get to and to get around – and I always have work in the Boston area and often have free places to stay since I grew up nearby in Hingham and still have many friends in the area!) With a pandemic raging around us limiting our ability to safely travel by plane, I didn’t feel like I had the same freedom in supporting A.J.  – so sticking around a bit longer seemed like a good idea on many fronts.

So…at the end of September, while camping in our tent in a magical camping spot at a KOA campground on Cape Cod, I posted out on my pages on social media and told my friends and readers that (in a perfect world) I wanted to find a place to stay in MAINE, ON THE WATER, ideally WITH A DOCK, on ACREAGE (in the forest?) that was NEWER CONSTRUCTION (no Lead paint)  – within a two hour drive of Boston – where I could stay with my two youngest kids for the month of October (and continue to work on the East Coast for a bit before driving home, while also being close enough to Boston for my younger children to socially-distanced-visit with their older brothers every now and then.)

And then, a miracle happened and the perfect place materialized.

I was offered the absolute perfect place to stay…a newer construction log cabin owned by the family of a friend and reader! A cabin in the woods, on a lake, in Maine, with a dock! Perfect! Bonus: It’s only a 1 hour and 45 minute drive from my two adult sons in Boston too! Amazing! What an incredible miracle really. It’s amazing what can materialize in the world if you clearly articulate what you need and would like. And that takes us to now… the next stage in our journey (and a request.)

Check out the pictures of the magical place where we are staying right now and continue reading below the images! If you EVER need a Lead-safe place to stay in Maine, BTW – I can introduce you to the owners of this cabin!

A view from the end of the dock:

A view from the porch looking down at the lake:

A view of the cabin from my kayak out on the lake:

A view of the lake from my kayak out on the lake:

A view of the cabin from the driveway (the lake is behind the cabin and my boys):

An artistic image of the cabin taken by my son Avi (from the stairs on the way down to the lake):

 And then the roof in my kitchen (in Portland, Oregon) leaked (massively)…

And then – in early October (?- perhaps it was late-September? I don’t recall the date exactly, things have been such a whirlwind) during a particularly heavy first rain of the season –  the roof in my kitchen (home in Portland) failed and we had a massive leak. Now -for most of the past two months – I have had to (remotely) deal with LEAD and MOLD and ASBESTOS remediation and gutting the kitchen and replacing the roof (which we are still dealing with!)

I am writing a separate post about all of that actually. It has been quite a drama!

As a result of the roof leaking (and – on top of that – my husband becoming ill and needing emergency surgery shortly after the roof chaos happened – yet another story…) – it wasn’t really possible for us to go home in November either, as our home was not safe (because of the toxics remediation in progress.) So my friend with the cabin let us stay here for a SECOND MONTH (November) in the woods of Maine – which has really been so perfect for my kids. We feel like we are literally the luckiest people on the planet. Being here (instead of in a heavily populated city like Portland) means my kids get to go for walks in the woods, spend their days doing educational activities (art, music, listening to books on tape, watching educational videos, and more) – while I cook and clean and take care of them (and try to squeeze in work and writing during the wee hours each day!)

Throughout this whole chaotic time (since the pandemic started) the common thread is that I have had no childcare (or in person school) – and I have to remind my self that, because of the pandemic, this factor would be the same no matter where we are. I have to constantly remind myself to take that concern out of the equation. Because my kids are medically fragile (and because my husband and I are also each high risk for CoViD-19) we would need to have a childcare provider in our bubble who is as isolated and careful as we are – and I don’t even know if that is possible!

Now we’re trying to figure out “what’s next.”
What does the next chapter of this wild journey look like…?

As November draws to a close we’re trying to decide what’s next and I realize that is, in part, up to you – my friends and readers. I have a few concerns that make it complicated to stay here at the cabin in Maine:

1. I need to be somewhere where I can earn a bunch more money to finish the repairs to my home so I can (eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later) move back safely with my boys. [I am the sole source of income for my family.] Realistically, over the next few months it is going to cost something to the tune of $20,000 or $30,000 (beyond what we have spent already) to do the bare bones work required to finish fixing the roof (shoring up the walls first) removing and repairing the remaining rotted areas and doing a basic (not-at-all-fancy) rebuild of the kitchen (including putting things back in the kitchen like WALLS, and a SINK and FLOORS and the STOVE and FRIDGE.) – See a relatively current picture of my kitchen below! 
2. There are two primary ways I can earn money: consultations with people and businesses OR more time to write. Having either of these in abundance would be great.
3. I need to be somewhere safe with the boys where they can have outside mask-free roaming-in-nature time every day.
4. I would like to be somewhere where childcare or companionship for the kids is a possibility (even if it is socially distanced childcare or play dates) so that I can spend more time writing/working earning money.
5. And today – as happens most winters – Avi’s psoriasis started flaring up in very uncomfortable “private places” on his body. This is the factor that prompted me writing this blog post today. This is also what cemented the consideration that I really need to be somewhere warmer with him (ideally with salt water he can go in on a daily basis) to help his severe plaque psoriasis (which is no longer responding well to the injected biologics he is taking to help the condition.) Each winter I do normally try to drag Avi along with me on at least one business trip to warmer climates (usually Southern California, since I tend to do a lot of work in the Los Angeles area) so that I can spend some time with him between clients helping him to heal his skin mid-winter (preventing it from getting worse.)

And so, I have been mulling over where I could go next while we wait for our home to be repaired. Please continue reading below the picture of my kitchen (taken a little over a week ago!)

Here’s what I would like your help with…

I am – with this blog post – repeating my request from the end of September (with a few changes/updates!) to see if a reader out there (or a friend, follower or family member!) has any resources to help solve this puzzle for me.

The house we are staying in in Maine ended up being a house that was otherwise going to be vacant during this time (a summer cabin that is insulated, is fully furnished and has all of the amenities, so is safe and comfortable to live in in the winter.) In exchange for some financial consideration (rent – which frankly probably just covers utilities & wear and tear) + my help and expertise in making the house safer (from a Lead-perspective) than it was, my friend put together a scenario that made it possible for us to stay here (inexpensively and safely) so I could continue to work on the East Coast (where I have so much more paid work than I ever would in Portland!)

I am hoping to find a similar situation in a warmer location in the coming months…possibly starting in Mid-December (or later is fine too.)

Do you have a place where I could stay with my two younger boys? Could we do a trade situation for services? Or a partial trade + rent? Please let me know! Here’s what we would like to find:

• Somewhere warm in the winter
• Somewhere separate and quiet (far from other houses – because my boys tend to yell a lot as a result of their disabilities and I don’t want to be concerned about disturbing neighbors).
• Something with acreage would be amazing – to accommodate the above.
• Somewhere on a body of water – preferably salt water to help Avi’s psoriasis, but if it is warm and he can be outside with shorts he doesn’t necessarily need to be at the ocean.
• Somewhere where I can either see clients (within a two or three hour drive of an urban center) OR somewhere where the place is big enough that I can add someone to our bubble as a nanny and teacher (to be with the kids and keep them engaged while I write… I have enough writing to do that I could write for 6 or 8 months without leaving the house and I would NOT run out of things to write about!)
• A newer construction place (ideally 1980s or newer) so I don’t have to worry about Lead concerns in the housing at all!
• Ideally at least two bedrooms, but three would be better in case I can find a nanny or similar for the time we are there. We’re flexible though and one bedroom with a couch (like an in-law unit) would be fine too!)
• Furnished (would need to be mostly furnished – although I could help procure Lead-free non-toxic basics like kitchenware, etc. – depending on the arrangement / trade).
• Must have: good internet & laundry facilities (on site or nearby… I am currently driving 30+ minutes each way once or twice a week to do laundry! – but at least it gets me out of the house!)

I would be taking a huge leap of faith leaving my 18 year old kiddo in Boston at college, but he has proven that he can handle himself in a pandemic.

Possible locations that might work (for a month or two or more)…& why: 

• Santa Monica area:  Within a two hour drive of Santa Monica would be amazing – including anywhere nearby in Southern California, Topanga Canyon or Dana Point areas would be great too. Why? Outside trails, beaches, warm weather, ocean for Avi, and PLENTY of access to paid work within a two or three hour drive (or less!) This is probably at the top of my list at this point (in spite of everything that is going on in California with the Pandemic, it seems like the best choice for me.) I also have a very cautious friend (CoViD-19 wise) who could help me with childcare if I was in the area for a month or two or more. She lives in Seal Beach.
• Within an hour or two drive of New York City: This would be great for a few reasons… access to paid work, access to the ocean, easy access to heading south to warmer weather if necessary to get Avi to a beach for a few days (when his psoriasis gets really bad). If I did this I think I would like to find a place halfway between New York City and Boston – so I could easily still have my older boys engaging with their little brothers every now and then. I also am working on doing an exposé about Lead in New York City playgrounds – so being in or near NYC would give me easy access to the information I need to gather to write that piece.
• Hawaii: If we found a place in Hawaii we would prefer the Big Island. Something with a lot of land around it where we could easily self-isolate, where the kids could explore on their own without needing to wear masks. It wouldn’t need to be right by the water, since the water would be easily accessible by car and we would rent a car. 
• Barbados?: Lol!  I have been reading about Barbados’ work passport (they are allowing Americans to come for as much as 12 months as long as they earn $50,000 a year or more and can work remotely.) I also checked out housing there and it looks like there are actually some reasonably priced places! I think I will qualify for their work-from-home passport because my business gross might qualify us… and I can probably demonstrate that in 2021 I expect to meet their earning guidelines (especially if we are able to finish fixing the house in Portland and can rent it out to cover the mortgage.) I recently renewed the kids passports and I have a bookkeeper working on catching up my books for 2020 and 2021, so we will see where that lands 🙂 The big trick there would be childcare… (Does anyone want to come to Barbados with me and take care of my kids while I write? Jess, Katie… I’m looking at you!!!) A big thing holding me back these days from my maximum earning potential is the lack of childcare during the pandemic! Barbados is just one example – because they are allowing Americans to go there… if you have other ideas of places that are offering similar scenarios – I would be open to looking in to that too!

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Plan B:

My “Plan B” if nothing along the lines of any of the above options materializes … is to drive home to Portland with the kids (probably end-of-December, but possibly sooner)… and live in my house with no kitchen… as my kids settle in to their regular negative / destructive patterns (in the absence of resources like childcare, in person school and respite care) while I try to distract and engage them during the days so they have at least some positive, educational experiences each day (and I continue to work at night, when they are sleeping.) #Sigh.

And that’s it folks!

And so – with that, I will launch this blog post in to the ether and sit and wait a few days to see if anyone responds with ideas or opportunities. Please realize that I will go anywhere in the world where it might make sense for me to write and for the kids to be cared for (and my husband – who has been with us for a week now, recovering from surgery – will head home to work on the house – probably next week – and I will send him every extra penny I earn so he can fix the house and we can hopefully return soon!) Edited To Add: Our timeline includes the following: the roof-job is scheduled to be started on December 15th (we paid them a 50% deposit last month.) The roofers have said that there is about a week of wiggle room in the start date – depending on the weather. At the latest they would start the job just before New Year’s and finish just after. The rebuild of the kitchen has to wait until the roof job is finished – and that will likely take another few weeks (well in to January.) I expect (and hope) we will be able to return home to Portland in early-to-mid-February.

Thank you for reading! Thank you for sharing my posts! Thank you in advance for any ideas you might have!

Tamara Rubin
#LeadSafeMama

Below is a picture I took in Hawaii in 2015 when I was visiting my mother there (about a year before she passed away.)